6 Things To Stop Caring About Today

Every day is an oppourtunity to start again. A new beginning.

Sometimes however, in life, you have to stop before you can truly begin. So starting today, here are 6 things you should stop caring about:

1) Stop caring about everyone else’s opinion of you.

For the most part, what other people think and say about you doesn’t matter. And yet we spend so much energy worrying about it. As Bill Cosby said, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”

Choose a few people in your life whom you trust, who know you well, and who love you enough to tell you the truth (even if it hurts). Listen to them, and don’t bother too much about the rest.

2) Stop caring about your failures.

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.

Failures teach us important lessons. In fact, the biggest mistake you can make is doing nothing because you’re too scared to make a mistake! Learn to fail forward.

3) Stop caring about the things you have no control over.

Some forces are out of your control. Accept this fact of life. Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and a lack of peace.

4) Stop caring about being right all the time.

Someone once asked me, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be married?”

Funny. But true. Sometimes we can “win” the argument and “lose” our relationships in the process. Sometimes being “right” is far less important than simply being there for someone or listening to them.

5) Stop caring about what others have.

It’s so natural for us to compare “up”. We look at that friend of ours with the mansion and the sexy car, or at the boss with the corner office. We fool ourselves by thinking we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life — a level we see others operating at. Unfortunately this simply isn’t true. It’s a moving target. A mirage.

Instead, appreciate where you are and what you have right now. Try comparing yourself to those who have less. Hopefully it opens our eyes to all the things we can be grateful for, and spurs us on to generosity.

6) Stop caring about the imaginary state of perfect.

So often perfection is the enemy of good.

Because we can’t find the “perfect plan” or the “ideal answer” to the problem, we simply give up and do nothing at all. Sometimes a bad plan is better than no plan at all.

Stop looking for the “silver bullet” or the “magic formula” that will solve all your woes, and focus rather on simply taking the next right step, even if that step is small.

Inspiration for this blog came from Marc and Angel Hack.
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104 Comments on “6 Things To Stop Caring About Today

  1. Hey Tom,

    #6 is particularly true. A add-on to that is that sometimes we think that the process as well as the result needs to be perfect. But in reality processes are usually messy and people (me included) then stop the process because it is not ‘perfect’ and in the end never getting to the ‘perfect result’. We (I) need to accept and deal with messy processes in order to reach a not so messy conclusion.

    Thanks for an insightful blog.

  2. I couldn’t agree more! As a parenting journalist, I might add:

    Stop Caring About Your Child’s Performance More Than Their Emotional Wellbeing

    Stop and spend quality time with your children. Listen to them. Listen to their dreams. They are not mini-versions of you. Respect their individuality. Love them unconditionally.

  3. I’m new to your blog, but I have to say, you give great advice. I was feeling a little bit down today, but I read your article and said to myself: “He’s perfectly right. You should start doing that right now.” Well, I will try, at least. So… thank you for making me feel better.

  4. So true! I have a bad tendency of caring about things I have no control over (traffic comes to mind).

    Thanks for a great post and putting things back into perspective.

    Darlene

  5. I especially like #6. As a recovering “superhero”, I am realizing perfection is not attainable. God doesn’t expect it, why would we? It would be more beneficial to meditate on our identity in Christ rather than our identity in the eyes of others.

  6. #5 is my favorite. Too often, as you stated, we think what it would be like to be at the top of our job, or what it’d be like to have “that” car, or “that” amount of money. Truth is, we take way to many things for granted and should be happy with what we have. For those of us “normal” everyday people, think about those people that don’t have a bed to sleep in, don’t have clean clothes to wear, or that don’t even have a roof over their heads. We all need to be grateful for the things we have.

  7. Most of these I’ve heard in some form before and I totally agree. What’s the secret to staying consistent with it? My human conditions often take over and I find myself off track…
    All your writing is awesome. Thanks for the committed sharing of it here!

  8. I am glad that my finger bring me into this post ..
    That’s great. so inspiring.. 🙂

    my biggest enemy is no 1. I always worry about what people think about me.. Eventhough I look alright outside but sometimes there are a lot of things hidden inside myself thinking about what would they think if I say this or say that ..
    I feel so miserable over this ..

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  10. Thank you for the tips. What I like the most is number 2. And there are too many words that I would like to quote if I’m permitted 😀
    The word stop is like the don’t, isn’t it? It’s negative, but the word start is positive, can you post ɑ positive tips?

  11. Hi hello Tom! This is the previous Jessmite after the second attemp logging in.

    You have a perfect post that suggest not to care about imaginary state of perfect 🙂

  12. Okay… who’s been reading my mail?

    As much as I’ve been working on getting rid of these area over my lifetime, I find they are packaged a lot like onions, i.e. they peel off in layers and with the removal of each layer, I get closer to the core (or root) of why I have this ‘belief’. There have been a few AHA moments.

    So you’d like I’d finally get it… but I needed these words yet again today!

    Thanks!

    .

    • Hi Brenda

      I’m with you but sometimes words are not enough and you need to get into the feelings to keep the layers of onion at bay. Not sure whether you have ever tried Kinesiology but it is great for helping you understand and clear beliefs that no longer serve you.

      Have a great weekend

  13. Hope you don’t mind, but I’m going to use this as an inspiration for a blog post of my own.
    Read a couple of your blog entries, keep up the good work!

  14. Thank you so much! I just came across your blog “by accident” but I only believe in Christ-incidences, so I fully believe God led me to your blog. I just started blogging recently, and this post is really encouraging right now in more ways than one. I’m so glad to share this!

  15. These days I am reading ‘The Secret’ book by Rhonda Byrne and if I believe what I have learnt from it so far, finding your blog is part of the universe’s response to my prayers, to help me change myself for better. Thank you for sharing this valuable stuff.

  16. 7. STOP GOING.

    In other words, learn to walk away. This is an addiction comment. This is a Christian comment. This is an idolotry comment.

    If there is something in your life that can be answered by the question, “If it is not in God’s will anymore, at least ______,” then stop. Stop going to her house, stop going to set up the sound system at 7 on a Saturday night, stop going in your mind to what it looks like when – your – dream reaches reality. Stop.

    We have a son. What the infant does not understand is that you have to stop going for the spoon before you can pick up the cup. You simply cannot hold on to both.

  17. love this :”biggest mistake you can make is doing nothing because you’re too scared to make a mistake!” everything you wrote is very true! enjoyed reading this :))

  18. Hey bru,

    I thought this was a really great post. I especially enjoyed point 1 – but I liked the balance you brought to it. So many people are advocating “don’t worry about what anyone thinks” but you added in the necessary counterbalance – have a few key people who you do care what they think.

    Keep it up!

  19. Good stuff!!!!!!!!!!
    #7 , money…. Stop caring about money,and focus on what really makes a differnece

      • I agree. Money can be a great tool to make a massive difference, and is in no way an “evil” thing. It’s the “love of money” that can be destructive – when we start to compare, compete and envy… just my thoughts

  20. I feel like you are saying to let go what everyone worries about. I can understand how this can be beneficial, but I think that reality says we have to care about what everyone thinks about us, as well as the other 5 things you mentioned. I believe the best way to feel free from the bondage you mentioned is to keep it to the weekends. When you don’t have appease the rest of the world through who you are, DON’T. Let go, cut loose, act a fool and feel the freedom! And Monday, back to being docile and diligent.

  21. Wonderful blog. Number 2 spoke volumes to me. I’m new to Blogging and a Recovering Perfectionist. This has been an inspiring reminder. Thank you.

  22. Obviously there is some good content in this post but I have to comment on the writing. I really appreciated the concise nature of the content. I think I can actually remember the content because it is concise.

  23. I couldn’t agree more and I’ll make an addition if I may:

    STOP waiting to be happy.

    Too many people wait to be thinner, richer, more attractive, to find their soulmate, to emigrate bla bla bla. We wait to be happy and fail to miss the point – that even if we had all of these things, we’d STILL be waiting to be happy. I think I’m learning that cheesy as it is, life is a journey, and we need to grab every bit of happiness along the way. If you STOP waiting to find happiness at the end of the journey, you might just realise that happiness IS the journey!

  24. Number 6 took me all year to figure out. I started being more productive when I stopped worrying if I had the perfect plan. Keep these great posts coming Brother!

  25. “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better”
    This quote really inspires me.
    Would you mind if I use this as my inspiration quote for my blog ?

    Thanks for the awesome post.

  26. I always care about what people around me think on what I do, what I dress, what I speak.
    This is the worst part of me.

    I cannot get rid of this feeling.
    I know this feeling stop me from moving forward.

    Do you have any suggestion?

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  30. Thanks for this Tom. I find all your posts interesting and useful but this one felt as if it was written specifically for me.

    Point three has helped me a lot. I tend to worry all the time about things I cannot control and things that don’t actually matter. In the back of my mind I’ve always known that it was a waste of energy to worry about but couldn’t stop myself. Seeing your advice in black and white (and coming from someone else) has finally kicked that thought to the front of my mind and helped me overcome it.

    Thank you. Please carry on producing these great posts.

  31. Pingback: Keeping It Simple in 2012 « tom.basson

  32. Excellent thoughts, & I also found a great deal of value in the posts about the new year, ( 2012). Thanks for sharing your insights; we all need to look within ourselves, ask questions, and find the truths we normally ignore. Without doing so, we can’t make decisions that will better our lives.

  33. Your post has lot to do with the way I’m trying to lead my live on.
    For me, the tough issues right now are stop caring about the things I can’t control and the image of perfect.
    Wish me luck to achieve that!

    Congratulations for your blog, it’s my first time here, but I’m surely coming back!

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  35. This blog is so timely for me…I’ve been haunting for inspirations and motivations lately. New here in WordPress…and this blog just simply spoke to me…I love your concept of “fail forward”!!! Will remember that!!!

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  37. Thanks for this, Tom. It is a wonderful reminder. Let go of things we have no control over. Let go. God bless you.

  38. Hey Tom its great to read your blog. I have been living that philosophy for the last few years and it makes such a difference in your life, it brings so much more peace and freedom.

  39. loving your philosophy!! my motto is: “make it easy on yourself, chances are you’re not going to make the right decision every single time (because no one ever does) so might as well go ahead and make it.” thanks for writing this!

  40. That’s right.
    And it’s kinda the story of my life too. I used to care too much about what others say about me and about what others say to me. You know, people tell us how to live our lives, but they don’t even know how to live a good life. They don’t even want to deal with the results of what their sayings. They just mindlessly say those words. I stop caring to that kind of people. They just don’t deserve it.

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