The Power of Pressing Pause

I am an impulsive person.

When I know I want something, I go after it. Sometimes foolishly. Just ask my wife.

So I’m trying to learn the power of pressing pause. Of taking a step back and reflecting in the midst of a world that continues to move in fast-forward.

So often we act on urges without really thinking, and without even realising it. And it gets us into trouble. We have the urge to eat junk food, and so we do it. We have the urge to skip a workout, and so we stay on the couch. We have an urge to smoke, to criticize, to check Facebook, to gossip, to open our inbox…  and we act on that urge. But, as Leo Babuta writes:

What if instead we learned to pause after each urge? What if we stopped, looked at that urge, paid close attention to what it feels like inside our bodies, but didn’t act? The urge would no longer control us. We would be able to make conscious choices that might be healthier for us...

And that’s why the pause is so critical.

Because when we pause, we create space. Space for life. Space to breathe, to think, and to respond proactively .

Such a small thing, and yet so powerful.

Of course, learning to press pause in our world and in our culture is no easy feat, but it can be learnt and practiced and improved.

In the Bible, the psalmists use a very interesting Hebrew word “selah“ which, while its definition is not entirely clear, means something like “pause and calmly think about that“. It’s like after every statement of praise or nugget of truth, the writer is trying to get us to stop and think and take it all in, instead of simply jumping to the next line or chorus…

or email,

or conversation,

or TV program…

Imagine if we could live our lives like that? Stopping and reflecting. Taking it all in. Acknowledging the urge, but not acting on it. Practicing the power of the pause.

The urges won’t go away, of course, but our ability to pause will get stronger. And when you have the pause, you have life!

Welcome…

Today I had the privilege of guest posting on Michael Hyatt’s blog, which I’m really excited about. The post I wrote is called “The Importance of Crossing Daily Finish Lines”

If you are visiting from his site, then WELCOME and thanks for stopping by! That’s me on the right, and much like Michael, I too have a passion for “intentional living”. I write on productivity, tech, spirituality, relationships, and, on occasion, stuff that doesn’t fit neatly into any one of those categories.

If you’re looking to get more of a feel for what this blog is all about, take a stroll through my Top 10 most popular posts below. To make sure you don’t miss my newest posts, you can subscribe via RSS or email on the right hand widget bar.

• 16 Tips to Simply Your Life (And Increase Your Productivity)

• The First Thing You Should Do In 2012

• 6 Things To Stop Caring About Today

• 4 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Do Kettlebells

• Mastering the Art of Self Discipline

• Do PowerBalance Bracelets Really Work?

• Life’s Too Short for TV

• All The Single Ladies Put Your Hands Up!

• Real Men Tell Great Love Stories

• 3 Reason Why I Love My iPad 2

7 Ways To Feed Your Brain

When it comes to maintaining physical health, we all know how important a balanced diet is. However, we seem to be less clear about what we need to maintain a healthy mind.

Dr. David Rock, executive director of the NeuroLeadership Institute and author of Your Brain at Work, believes we are living in a “time when too many people’s mental well-being is being stretched through multi-tasking, fragmented attention and information overload,” and asserts that we are now facing “an epidemic of overwhelm.”

In response to this epidemic, Dr. Rock, in collaboration with Dr. Daniel Siegel, has created what he calls the Healthy Mind Platter. This platter offers seven essential mental activities that are necessary for optimum mental health, and provides the full set of ‘mental nutrition’ that your brain needs to function at its best. Here they are:

Focus Time

When we closely focus on tasks in a goal-oriented way, taking on challenges that make deep connections in the brain.

Play Time

When we allow ourselves to be spontaneous or creative, playfully enjoying novel experiences, which helps make new connections in the brain.

Connecting Time

When we connect with other people, ideally in person, richly activating the brain’s social circuitry.

Physical Time

When we move our bodies, aerobically if possible, which strengthens the brain in many ways.

Time In

When we quietly reflect internally, focusing on sensations, images, feelings and thoughts, helping to better integrate the brain.

Down Time

When we are non-focused, without any specific goal, and let our mind wander or simply relax, which helps our brain recharge.

Sleep Time

When we give the brain the rest it needs to consolidate learning and recover from the experiences of the day.

Of course it’s all about balance.

Just like it wouldn’t be healthy to eat only carbohydrates, so too you shouldn’t just live on Focus Time without much Sleep Time. The point is to understand the full spectrum of essential mental activities, and then try to provide as many oppourtunities for your brain to develop in different ways.

When I first came across the Healthy Mind Platter I was deeply challenged to find more balance in what I was putting into my mind.

How do YOU feel about what you’re feeding your brain?

Truth Without Love is Brutality

“Truth without love is brutality, and love without truth is hypocrisy.” 
― Warren Wiersbe

I think sometimes, as Christians, we forget this.

We think that as long as our ideas are philosophically and theologically true, we can share them in ways that are offensive and divisive. And so “being right” becomes more important than showing love or reaching people.

Now that’s not to say we should’t speak the truth, because we know “love without truth is empty” and not really love at all.

But let us not fall for the trap that truth comes at the expense of love, or vice versa.

As Donald Miller writes:

We commonly believe that the Evil One wants us to teach bad theology, and I suppose he does. But what he wants to do more is to have us teach right theology in a way that devalues human beings, insults and belittles them, and so sets them against the loving message of God.

So if we teach right theology in a way that is condescending, we are just as guilty as being heretics. That’s why the Bible spends as much or more time talking about love as it does about doctrine. My guess is we love doctrine because it makes us feel superior, but neglect love because it calls for personal sacrifice and vulnerability.

And so we become personality heretics, speaking the truth, but teaching heresy.

Tension is Required

“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald.

When I was young I saw life in black and white. Right and wrong. Good and bad. But the older I get, the more I realise life isn’t that simple. It seems the answers to some of the toughest questions are not always “either/or”, but rather “both/and”… As Carolyn Arends articulates so well,

“Is it faith or works? I demand of the scriptures, and the answer seems to be: “Yes.” Is God a God of revelation or of mystery? Is he as close as a whisper or beyond all things? Yes. Yes. Is the kingdom of heaven now or not yet? Should I be wise as a serpent or innocent as a dove? Should I fall headlong into grace or work out my salvation with fear and trembling? Yes. Yes. Yes.

A lifetime of evangelical thinking has primed me for either/or questions,breeding a deep distrust of both/and propositions. After all, one of the distinguishing features of Christianity is its insistence that there is one way to God. A wariness of pluralistic worldviews is completely warranted. But if I’m not careful, that insistence can mutate into creating artificial schisms that fly in the face of a God who desires to make us whole in radical ways.

When we fall for false dualities, we end up arguing over whether the gospel is concerned with ministering to the poor or proclaiming the Word. We believe our theology must emphasize either a free gift of grace or a call to holy living. In a myriad of areas, we polarize, dichotomize, and greatly minimize the life God has for us.”

Unfortunately this truth is easier to write about than to live.

It takes less effort to settle for black and white. And so we congratulate ourselves for taking a stand, but lose half of what God has for us in the process.

I think most of us would like our faith to reduce tension, but according to the scriptures, it seems tension is required.

A Better Story

There is something wonderfully powerful about STORIES.

Stories are universal – crossing boundaries of language, culture and age. We can all relate to stories, and it is in the context of narrative that the human heart truly responds. In fact, people have been telling and responding to stories since the beginning of time. It’s how most cultures pass on information from generation to generation.

Interestingly, recent evidence from neurology and psychology is confirming that humans think in narrative structures. Concepts conveyed in story form – more than ideas explained with logic and analysis – imprint themselves naturally into human minds.

It’s why we can remember a book or a film from years back, but can’t remember the PowerPoint we saw 10 minutes ago.

There is something about story (especially a good story) that is able to capture our hearts, our minds, and our imagination.

Now, I believe inside each of us is a deep desire to not only connect to a great story, but to be part of a great story.

A thirst for meaning we can’t always explain. A desire to be part of something bigger than our own lives. Part of something that really matters.

But here’s the problem with living a great story… it’s hard!

People want an interesting life, but the truth is interesting is never easy. Telling a great story with your life requires sacrifice and pain and struggle. It is less like winning the lottery and more like training for a marathon. Happy endings are never just handed out. A great story takes risk and courage.

Robert McKee, considered worldwide to be the guru on storytelling, believes that every great plot has three basic elements:

• A person (or group of people)
• Who want something
• And are willing to overcome conflict to get it.

In fact, without ambition or conflict there simply is no story. It’s boring. And it’s the same in real life.

Unfortunately the story our culture is telling us is the story of comfort and security- “get comfortable so you can avoid pain”. Now, that’s not a terrible story, but it’s really not the greatest either. And of course there is nothing wrong with wanting security and comfort, but it cannot be the main theme of our story. There needs to be something more. Something worth fighting for.

I really believe there is such a yearning in our world, and especially in the younger generation, to be liberated from the mediocrity of safe bets – to be delivered from the prison of triviality that is so rife in our culture.

You were not designed to simply survive life. God didn’t come to make you safe, he came to make you brave.

And so, my prayer for you, as you seek to live out a better story, is that you would embrace risk and be willing to overcome conflict.

This prayer, written in 1886, captures my thoughts so beautifully:

“Lord, we do not pray for easy lives. We pray to be stronger men and women. We do not pray for tasks equal to our powers; but for powers equal to our tasks. Then the doing of our work shall be no miracle. But we shall be a miracle. And every day we will wonder at the richness of life, which has come to us through Your incredible grace.”

8 Reasons Why I Love My Vibram FiveFingers

A few months ago I purchased a pair of Vibram FiveFingers barefoot running shoes. And I am absolutely loving them! Here’s why:

1. Running barefoot is natural.

Barefoot running has garnered lots of attention lately due to the mega-bestseller Born to Run by Christopher McDougall. Barefoot running shoes have tripled in sales in recent years, and top athletic companies like Nike and Adidas are declaring barefoot running the next big thing.Why?

Well, simply put, your feet are a marvel of biological engineering. They are designed to adjust your stride, distribute your weight, and minimize the impact on your joints – on the fly. Unfortunately, when you encase them in modern running shoes, your feet lose contact with the ground, they don’t adjust, and they aren’t free to do what they were made to do.

For me, running in my FiveFingers just feels right.

2. Barefoot running reduces injuries

Conventional thinking says, running shoes are designed to provide cushioning and prevent injuries, right? Well, according to McDougall, despite supposedly huge improvement in shoe technology, 70% of all runners get injured every year, and this number has not decreased in decades. Interestingly, running injuries were very rare until the invention of the modern running shoe in 1972. McDougall claims there is a direct correlation between running shoes and running injuries.

So then why do all the running magazines advocate the super expensive, super advanced shoes?

Follow the money. As Michael Hyatt writes, “Running shoes are a $15 billion industry. The companies that make these shoes are not going to admit that their product is the problem rather than the solution. These same companies advertise in the running magazines. The magazines can rate the various shoes and write reviews, but they can’t challenge the whole premise behind the shoes without flushing the bulk of their revenue stream.”

I am not trying to knock regular running shoes. All I know is that when I was training for Comrades in 2010, I was plagued with ITB problems (a common running injury), despite paying big bucks for orthotics, in-soles, and the best shoes money could buy. Since I’ve been running in my FiveFingers I haven’t had a single twinge, and I can actually feel my  gluteus medius muscles getting stronger (proven to help ITB syndrome).

3. It’s the best of both worlds

Of course, because I run predominantly on paved roads, I still need some protection from stubbing my toe, or getting cut on sharp rocks or glass. Running in the Vibram FiveFingers is as close as you can get to running barefoot and still have some protection. It’s the best of both worlds. They provide the physiological benefits of going barefoot with the advantage of having some level of armor against the elements.

4. They are cheaper than regular running shoes

I bought mine brand new online and had them shipped to South Africa for a total of R400. That’s less than half the price I paid for my traditional running shoes! You can buy them straight from the Vibram Store, as well as variety of other online stores, including Amazon.

5. They look weird

I cannot deny it – they are absolutely hideous. My wife calls them “gorilla shoes”. But, while this may be a negative for some, I actually don’t mind. I’m not one to get embarrassed easily, and I actually find them to be a great conversation piece.

6. They last (I hope)

So far the longest I have run in them is 10k, but they seem to be holding up really well. In my old shoes I used to wear the heel out really fast, but because FiveFingers force you to run with less of a heel-strike and more of a forefoot-strike (which has been proven to reduce impact-related injuries), I have not noticed any uneven wear and tear.

Will I stick with them? Only time will tell. I am contemplating running Comrades again in 2013, so we’ll just have to wait and see how they stack up against the increased weekly mileage and longer ultra-distances. But so far so good.

7. They strengthen the right muscle groups

All the literature I’ve read, including Vibrams own website, cautions you to start out slow with the FiveFingers. Even if you are a seasoned runner, your feet have essentially been encased in casts for years. This means that many of your muscles which normally help to stabilise and make micro adjustments have atrophied. But it also means that it forces you to strengthen those critical muscle groups.

Initially the arches of my feet and my achilles tendon had to work a lot harder on runs, but after a few weeks of training, my muscles seem to have adjusted and strengthened, and my gait has definitely improved.

8. There are so many different models

I bought the Bikala LS as they seemed to me the best choice for those who predominantly run on roads, however, there are many different models aimed at a variety of different sports, needs, mileage etc.

The only negative of FiveFingers I can see is that they are terrible for people with webbed feet.

Seriously though, if you are a runner, I think the FiveFingers merit serious consideration, particularly if you, like me, have been prone to injuries and tried everything else. If you are still not convinced, I would urge you to read Born to Run or Barefoot Running Step by Step.

Do you have the Vibrams? Are you running in them? What has been your experience?

What Are You Practicing?

If only I still looked like that!

I was gymnast for many years growing up.

And in gymnastics, like many other sports, when you are training to learn a new skill, you can’t just simply get up and do it. First you must break down the skill into components – simpler, smaller movements we called “drills”.

Each day we would consciously practice those specific movements in a very deliberate way, and we would repeat those movements over and over again – sometimes thousands of times. But eventually, through sheer repetition, we would become good at those movements. And once you had mastered the various “drills”, you could link them together and be able to pull off the skill.

I think our entire lives are a bit like that…

Each day we repeat movements – thought patterns, ways of interacting with others. And in this repeated practice, we are becoming (or have already become) good at these things.

And so if you constantly swear or use bad language, that is a practice, and you are forming that habit. When you gossip, or speak rudely to others, or lose your temper, this is something you are practicing to be good at.

You may already be good at these things. I know I am.

And so of course the big question is, WHAT ARE YOU PRACTICING?

Because we might have all the good intentions to be or look a certain way, or to end up in a certain place, but the harsh reality is that we become good at what we repeatedly do.

In other words, we become the sum of our daily habits.

And so, what if, instead of practicing the bad stuff that holds us back, we consciously and intentionally started to practice the things we really want to be good at? Things like self-control, patience, kindness, peace, forgiveness…

Then, as we link those “movements” together, we will be able to pull off the greatest skill of all: To live well.

 

This post was inspired by an article I read at Zen Habits.

“No” is the New “Yes”

Too many people I speak to tell me they spend their long days responding to emails, putting out fires, and running around in a constant state or urgency.

Sound familiar? You are not alone.

It’s a problem many of us struggle with – a vicious cycle we cannot seem to solve or free ourselves from. We react to what’s in front of us, whether it truly matters or not.

More than ever, we’re prisoners of the urgent.

We know that setting goals and prioritising help tremendously, but the problem is that prioritizing requires reflection, and reflection takes time. Most of  are so busy racing just to keep up, we don’t believe we have the time to stop and think about much of anything. It is a myth we live by now.

And so too often we default to saying “yes” to everything and everyone. It’s just easier that way. We can avoid conflict, and it takes less time than pausing to decide whether or not the request is truly important. Some believe there’s also an adrenaline rush in saying “yes”. As Tony Swartz writes,

“Many of us have become addicted, unwittingly, to the speed of our lives — the adrenalin high of constant busyness. We mistake activity for productivity, more for better, and we ask ourselves ‘What’s next?’ far more often than we do ‘Why this?’”

But as Gandhi put it, “A ‘no’ uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a ‘yes’ merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.”

So what does saying “no” actually look like? Well, I think it means:

• Taking time out to reflect and prioritise
• Deciding what to do less of, or to stop doing altogether
• Regularly stepping back from the madding crowd
• Sometimes disappointing people
• Fighting the urge to respond to the latest urgent demand or seductive source of instant gratification

Of course, these things are hard to do, and it requires greater discipline and effort on our part. BUT… when we learn to thoughtfully say “no”, we give ourselves the space to reflect on, metabolize, assess, and make sense of what we’ve just experienced, so that we might live proactively, rather than reactively.

And so… in a world of relentless demands and infinite loops, saying “no” just might be the most undervalued skill of our times.

21 Steps to Awesomeness

As I was checking out my blog stats the other day I realised that many of my most popular posts all have something in common: NUMBERS. Check it out:

• 16 Tips to Simply Your Life (And Increase Your Productivity)
• 6 Things To Stop Caring About Today
• 4 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Do Kettlebells

And I totally get why this is. Most of us are busy people with busy lives, and so when we come across a post like “5 Ways to Fix Your Marriage”, or “12 Tips for Awesome Abs”, it grabs our attention and pulls us in. There is something attractive about a nice clean-cut formula – a simple set of principles to apply or steps we can take that will put things right.

But here’s the deal. There are no magic formulas or quick fixes in life.

I’m not saying these tips or steps aren’t helpful. I really believe in the steps I’ve written about. But the reality is that life is complex, and the idea that you can break it down or fix it all in a few steps is rather silly.

The truth is there are a million steps.

And a lot of the time we don’t even know what those steps look like. Or we may not be willing or able to take them at any given moment. And they’re probably different for you and me.

And this is not a bad thing. It’s actually a really good thing. Something that I believe can ultimately bring us closer to God.

As Donald Miller writes in his book Searching For God Knows What, “I have come to believe the sooner we find this truth (that there are a million steps) beautiful, the sooner we will fall in love with the God who keeps shaking things up, keeps changing the path, keeps rocking the boat to test our faith in Him, teaching us to not rely on easy answers, bullet points, magic mantras, or genies in lamps, but rather rely on His guidance, His existence, His mercy, and His love.”

Will I continue to write blogs with “tips” and “ways” to live better and more intentionally? Absolutely! But if you want “21 Steps to Awesomeness”, I’m afraid I can’t help you today. You’re just gonna have to go out there and be awesome all by yourself.

You Are What You Eat

You’ve probably heard that saying a thousand times before.

When I was younger and training 4-5 hours a day as a gymnast, I could eat whatever and as much as I liked. Literally. It didn’t matter how much junk food, alcohol, chocolate etc I put into my body, I never gained weight, and always stayed in shape.

Now, however, as I’m fast approaching my 30th birthday, times… they are a changing! Now I just look at a piece of cake and gain weight! Perhaps you feel the same way.

And so, in an attempt to make sure I’m eating right in 2012, I’ve enlisted the help of a good nutritionist friend of mine, Stephanie Wills, who helps run Lifestyle Health in Ballito. Here are a few tips from Steph’s blog on eating well, feeling good, and staying healthy.

1. Snack right

Rather than chocolate, sweets or chips reach for healthier snacks to balance your blood glucose levels, maintain adequate energy levels and promote healthy weight management. Choose an apple with 2 tablespoons of almond nut butter, plain yogurt with seeds and blueberries, a home-made trail mix, a sprout salad or a small protein shake.

2. Switch to small plates and teaspoons

Research has shown that downsizing dinnerware promotes portion control and mindful eating without the feeling of deprivation that comes with other dieting methods. It really is one of the easiest and most effective small changes you can do for weight loss.

3. Salt, pepper and CHIA

It’s time for the modern dinner table to welcome an additional partner to our familiar duo: chia seeds. Chia is incredibly high in fibre, full of anti-oxidants, omega-3, protein, vitamins, minerals and enzymes as well as being virtually tasteless. This means you can boost the nutritional content of any meal with a sprinkling or two of this amazing superfood!

4. Support your body with supplements

Steph suggests 5 basic nutrients to ensure long-term health and well-being: A comprehensive multivitamin, omega 3, vitamin C (the non-acidic form), vitamin D, and a bone/joint support formula high in magnesium. If you can’t do them all, just start with one.

5. Sleep

I know you’ve heard it all before but be honest – you’re probably getting far too little? Sleep is when your body does its best healing and repair including preventing viral infections, maintaining proper fat metabolism, reducing stress hormone levels and rejuvenating your liver. Turn off that TV, iPad, cellphone and computer, and go to bed!

6. Grow your own

Why not try grow as many of your own organic vegetables, sprouts, and herbs as possible! It is cheap and easy, extremely convenient and of course highly nutritious. I started my own herb garden about a year ago and it has been such fun!

7. Learn to love lemons

Lemons are full of anti-cancer, anti-acne, liver supporting and immune boosting nutrients as well as being incredibly cleansing and alkalising. Drink hot water and lemon juice in the morning, add lemon slices to your water, cook with it and use it in salad dressings.

Hope these few tips help to inspire you to achieve improved health and happiness.

Tribes

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” - Jane Howard

I’ve recently finished reading Seth Godin’s book “Tribes”. In it Godin describes a tribe as any group of people, large or small, who are:

• connected to one another
• connected to a leader
• and connected to an idea

For millions of years, humans have been seeking out tribes – be they religious, ethnic, economic, political, or even musical. It’s our nature.

Now, with the rise of the Internet and the explosion of social media, tribes are no longer limited by the barriers of time, cost or geography. Now you can get groups of ten or ten thousand or ten million people from all over the world who are connected to each other, and who care about their iPhones, or living like Jesus, or a political campaign, or a new way to fight global warming.

And all this is good and exciting and wonderful stuff. But the killer question Godin poses in his book is:

Who is going to lead us?

According to Godin, while the Web can do amazing things, it cannot provide leadership. That still has to come from individuals - people like you and I who have a passion for something and who want to make a difference.

And if you think leadership is for other people, think again.

In fact, never before has it been easier for regular people like you and I to lead. All the tools are at our fingertips. All we need is the desire to change things, the ability to connect a tribe, and the willingness to lead.

Throughout the book Godin pleads with his readers to step-up and lead. He says that if you ignore the opportunity, you risk turning into a “sheepwalker” – someone who fights to protect the status quo at all costs, never asking if obedience is doing you (or your organization or your church or the world) any good.

Ultimately this book has made a significant impact on me in how I view community and leadership, and made me think (really think) about the opportunities I have been given to lead. Whether it’s by writing another blog post, preaching a message, or meeting with a bunch of friends.

Stepping up to lead isn’t easy, but it’s easier than you think. What are you waiting for?