7 Ways to Turn Off Technology and Get More Done!

Studies show that the average worker is interrupted every 11 minutes!

Distractions destroy productivity and complicate your life. And you can’t blame others entirely for this. Tim Ferris, in his book “The 4-Hour Work Week” says that  “Blaming idiots for interruptions is like blaming clowns for scaring children—they can’t help it. It’s their nature.”

Often times, too, our greatest distractions come from ourselves. So each of us must learn to be disciplined in how we manage interruptions and learn to protect our own time if we hope to get anything done.

In my blog “16 Tips to Simplify Your Life (and Increase Your Productivity)”  one of the ways I mention to do this is to turn off technology. Here are some helpful tips on how:

1)  Turn off your email and phone for 60 minutes a day and focus on doing your most important work.

I find the best time for this is first thing in the morning. You can still take voicemails on your phone, but the important thing is that you have a solid chunk of time to focus on creative work, or work that requires some lateral thinking and brainstorming. Something I do that helps is put a “DO NOT DISTURB” sign on my door/cubicle, and earphones in my ears. Even if I’m not listening to music, it prevents my colleagues from interrupting me with things that ultimately can wait an hour. (And in my opinion most “urgent” things can wait an hour.)

2) Stop looking at Facebook!

I know this is hard people, but if you need some extra help you can actually get simple programs now like Freedom that prevent you from logging in to certain sites between stipulated hours. And you’ll need to reboot if you want to get back online while Freedom’s running! The hassle of rebooting means you’re less likely to cheat, and you’ll enjoy enhanced productivity.

3) Turn all your electronic notifications off.

Other than calendar reminders, the rest of those notifications just create more anxiety and stress. Lose them!

4) Create your own email culture.

Tim Ferris is the CEO of a million-dollar organisation and checks his email once a month! How does he do it? Well, to cut a long story short, he has worked himself into that place over a long period of time by creating an email culture where he is able to DELEGATE, DISCARD or DEAL with emails immediately. He warns strongly against creating a “chat” email scenario where you end each email with a question, inviting back-and-forth conversation.

I am working at the moment towards checking my mail twice a day. And the more I do this, the more people get used to my system and learn to work within it. Generally I find most people are OK with receiving a reply as long as it is within one 24hr period.

Checking your mail constantly fragments your thinking, and is a huge productivity killer!

5) Don’t answer your phone every time it rings.

Record a good, friendly and professional voicemail message on your phone and trust it. You can always listen to the message and then decide wether the call truly is urgent, or if it can wait till another time.

6) Work in 90 minute cycles

Tons of science is now confirming that this is the optimal work to rest ratio.

7) Get comfortable with saying NO!

Every time you say “Yes” to something, you are saying “No” to something else.

Ok, well, I hope that helped. Now stop reading my blog and get back to work!!

Inception Part 2: Telling the Difference Between Lies & Truth

In my last blog post we looked at the film “Inception” and we spoke about how ideas can grow to either define us or to destroy us.

Now if you haven’t seen Inception yet, the basic idea behind the movie is that it is possible to enter the dreams of another person in order to plant an idea in their subconscious. BUT, in order to accomplish this “inception” in such a way that the dreamer accepts the idea as their own they have to go 3 levels deep into the dream world… i.e. a dream within a dream within a dream.

And this is where it gets complicated.

You see the deeper into the dream world they go, the easier it becomes to lose touch with what is real and what is a dream.

Similarly for us, when it comes to our thoughts and beliefs, it’s not always easy to tell the difference between that which will destroy you and that which will make you stronger. Between that which is a lie and that which is truth. Between the “dream” and the “reality”.

And as humans we have an incredible ability to deceive ourselves and see what we want to see.

In the film, to counter this, each person carries their own “TOTEM”. A small, potentially heavy object – something that has weight and balance and movement that you are familiar with that you can handle and feel. So that when you examine it, you know beyond a doubt, that you are not dreaming…

And I just love the idea of a totem.

Some kind of objective reality outside of one’s own subjective experience. Outside of our emotions or feelings (which can trick us). An Anchor to what is TRULY TRUE, rather than what is made-up or dreamed.

I think in this post-modern world where everything is subjective – in a world that says “truth is relative – it’s what you make it to be” – some sort of anchor like this is so important for us. It helps us to stay grounded to God’s reality – to His truth.

For the Christ-follower our “totems” are the Word of God, His Spirit, and the Cross.

When we look at these things, everything is put into perspective. Whenever things get messy. When we loose touch with what is truth and what is a lie. When what we feel and what we know don’t always align. Then we must look to these “totems”…

Inception Part 1: Are Your Thoughts Defining You or Destroying You?

An idea is a powerful thing. One idea planted deep inside of you can alter the course of your life…

Every year my church does a series called “God in the Movies”, where we look for elements of truth – God’s truth – in the stories around us. This year I got to preach on one of my favourite films of all time – INCEPTION.

And one of the most powerful lines of the film goes like this: “Ideas are resilient – highly contagious. Once an idea has taken hold in the brain it is almost impossible to eradicate. A person can cover it up, ignore it – but it stays there. An idea that is fully formed – fully understood – can grow to either define you or destroy you!”

And the truth is many of us believe lies and thoughts about ourselves and about God that will ultimately destroy us. Becaue how we think and what we believe will always shape how we act and how we live. Every time.

And so…

• If we believe that when every time something bad happens to us, it’s because God is punishing us – then we will never learn to trust God has our father.
• If we believe that we have to have answers to every question and understand everything about God, that only when there is no more mystery left, can we put our trust in Him, then we will never ever find faith and peace.
• If we believe that God heals all illnesses, then we will live with a deep-seated sense of disappointment with God when he lets us down.
• If we believe that we get to heaven based on our own merit, then we will spend our life running around trying to figure out how much is enough, and I believe we will be deeply disappointed at the end of our life when we realise it was never about what we do, but rather what Christ has done for us.
• And if we believe that there are things in our lives that we have done that are just too terrible, that God could never ever forgive us, then we will never find forgiveness and we will live in a constant state of guilt.

Every time we choose to ignore the truth about who God is or who He says we are – we pay a price. 

So what lies are you believing that are holding you back and keeping you captive?

Bill Hybels, Anti-Gay and Starbucks Coffee…

In case you’ve missed all the controversy, Bill Hybels announced last week that Starbucks CEO, Howard Schultz, would not be presenting at the Global Leadership Summit. Schultz backed out at the last moment due to an online petition started to boycott Starbucks if he presented at the Summit.

I’ll let you watch the video of Bill at the Summit explaining the why behind this. Apparently people attending the conference were spellbound. In my opinion Hybels is an amazing leader – absolutely phenomenal – and this video exemplifies why. Take a look, or if you don’t have time to watch the video, you can read the transcript below….

Real Men Tell Great Love Stories

Based on the responses from my post “All the Single Ladies Put Your Hands Up!” I’ve decided to write one for the boys…

In his blog Donald Miller has some great things to say to men about what it means to live a great love story. He says that any great story contains the following elements:

• A person (or group of people)
• That wants something.
• And are willing to overcome conflict to get it.

A great love story is no different. In a love story, a guy wants a girl, and is willing to fight the dragon to get her. But… there’s a difference between men and women here.

Men were not designed to have love stories “happen to them” as much as they were designed to “make a love story happen to a woman.” Do you understand? You’re the writer of the story. You’re the guy who initiates and has the character to follow through.

Unfortunately we live in a culture of guys who couldn’t write a love story to save their lives. Also, most people think love stories only benefit women. But don’t be fooled. There’s a lot in this for you. A man can have sex with a thousand women and he’ll never feel as masculine or as powerful as he will be leading a woman through a good love story.

So here then are some tips from Donald’s blog that will help you to lead a woman through a great love story:

1) Want something

Every story involves a person who wants something, and you’re love story can’t be any different. Women are attracted to men on a mission – men who want to make the world a better place and are focused and dedicated to making this happen. This means going to college, starting a company, coaching a team or teaching a class. If you want to make a woman’s dreams come true, pick up your X-box and throw it in the trash and start doing something with your life.

2) Choose the right women to date

The book of Proverbs was primarily written to men, and while there is a great deal of advice in the book about work ethic and finances, a significant chunk of the book is spent warning men to stay away from certain women. Is she seductive? Stay away. Is she nagging? Stay away. Is she sexually promiscuous? Stay away. I spent a good deal of my varsity career dating girls who were seductive, and have paid dearly. Now this does not mean you shouldn’t date a girl with a past. It just means stay away from a woman who leads with her seductive side. You want a woman who is looking for a man, not a woman looking for men.

3) Be honourable with the women you date

Unfortunately I messed this one up big time in the past. But here’s the thing. You can either wreck a girls heart, or build it up. You can either help her understand that she’s beautiful by protecting her heart and her body, or teach her she’s just a girl worth using for sex. To be sure, there are plenty of girls who actually just want to be used for sex, but remember Proverbs says stay away from these women.

4) Stop validating yourself with women

This was a pretty serious problem for me, and I think for a lot of men – especially men who grew up with womanizing fathers or no fathers at all. Men who do not believe they have what it takes to live life well and with strength will validate themselves with women. They just aren’t sure they’re manly, so they have to test themselves all the time by trying to knock down girl after girl. Even if it’s not sexual, it can be emotional. A guy can get hooked on that feeling of having a girl like him. If you are going to tell a great love story, you are going to have to figure out how to let go of this tendency. Stop validating yourself with women. Stay focused on the one girl you’ve chosen and make it happen with her and her alone.

5) Stop having sex and start making love

I’m amazed at how many women hook up with guys and talk about how terrible the sex was. But why? Why would a man who has slept with hundreds of women not be very good in bed? Well, the main reason is a woman wants to connect in ways beyond just a physical connection. Most “players” have no idea how to make love to a woman, precisely because they don’t even care about the woman they are sleeping with on a given night. They are so busy trying to get laid, they take no time to actually find out who she is. Essentially, sex to them is just mutual masturbation. I mean sure she wanted to have sex, but she may have wanted something else, too. A woman often wants a deep, soul connection. Even though she hooked up with a stranger, she was just going through the motions of something else she really wants. She wants words of affirmation and eye contact and playful fun that only happens in intimacy. Why was the sex no good in the hook up? Because the relationship was no good.

Husbands, make love to your wife’s heart, not just her body. As ferociously as possible, find that woman’s heart and connect with it. Learn everything about her and connect with her in as many ways as possible. Understand her story and care about her past. Then her body will respond in ways she never thought humanly possible, and, for that matter, so will yours.

Of course, there is so much more to say here, but the bottom line is this: A true love story can only be told through sacrifice, patience and pain. Put in the effort now, and reap the rewards later.

How To Give A Great Presentation With Your iPad

For the past few months now I have been using my iPad 2 for just about everything. Reading, writing, social media, photos, web browsing, even video editing… it does it all in one neat little package. Read my previous post on why I love it so much here.

But today I’d like to share specifically on what I’ve learnt about the iPad has a communicator’s tool – in my case for teaching and preaching…

Firstly, can I just say what a pleasure this device has made the entire process – eliminating so many previous steps, taking paper and printing completely out the picture, and enabling me to prepare and present better, faster, and more remotely. Here’s how I do it…

Step 1: Mind-mapping

I always start off by brainstorming general thoughts or impressions. Things on the topic I have to present that immediately jump to mind, stand out, or have been on my heart. For this I find mind-mapping to be extremely effective. I don’t necessarily have to worry at this stage about structure or outline, and mind-mapping allows me to simply splurge everything in my mind onto paper, including articles I have come across, tweets, links, Bible verses, even pictures or photos.

For this I use two programs – on my desktop: MindJet Manager (Free), on my iPad: iThoughts HD ($9.99), and on my iPhone: iThoughts (Free). These programs sync seamlessly so whether I am at home on the couch and something jumps to mind, or at the office at my laptop, I simply add to the map and all 3 devices stay perfectly synced.

At this stage I just have to mention Evernote (Free). This is undoubtably the app I use the most on my phone, laptop and iPad, and is incredibly powerful and useful! It allows me to capture ideas, thoughts, photos, websites, quotes etc etc instantly; organise my thoughts effectively; and access that information fast from anywhere. It is basically my brain on the web.

Step 2: Word Processing

After brainstorming, I begin the process of getting it down into a logical structure. With my mind-map open and at hand I start with a basic outline or a scripture as a skeleton, and then fill in the “meat” with stories, anecdotes, illustrations etc. This process usually takes the longest and requires some refining. I’ve found it helps to have a “cobb” – a single “main point” upon which everything else hangs. You may expand that idea into more sub points or applications, but ask yourself, “If my listeners get one thing and one thing only, what do I want that to be?” At this stage you have to be ruthless to stay true to the “main thing” and eliminate everything else that does not point towards or illuminate your main idea.

For this stage I use Microsoft Word for Mac on my laptop, or Pages ($9.99) on my iPad. I find these two programs are the most powerful, allow me to use the formatting I like, and using Dropbox (free) I can keep them in sync.

Step 3: Exporting

Once I am happy with the content, the next step is to get it on to my iPad ready for presenting. Of course you could always just present straight from Pages or from your Word doc, but I find that to be limiting. You can’t easily alter the text and the scrolling down feels unnatural. I prefer using GoodReader ($4.99), which in my opinion is one of the best apps for the iPad and certainly worth every penny!

Because I like my words to be big on the iPad screen, I format my text to 22 Arial and then save the doc as a PDF file, before copying the file to Dropbox. GoodReader works hand in hand with Dropbox and so I can simply open any Dropbox file from within GoodReader and I’m good to go.

Step 4: Presenting

GoodReader has many features but what I like about it most is the intuitive scrolling and zooming, the ability to highlight, scratch out, or add text on the fly. You can even add diagrams and free-hand drawings to your notes in case you get some last minute inspiration. It also has a very handy “auto-lock” function that prevents the screen from auto-rotating as you move around. Just make sure you adjust your “sleep mode” under settings on your iPad so it doesn’t go to sleep in the middle of your talk!

I also know that the iPad can be used in conjunction with a VGA out and Keynote ($9.99) to present powerpoint presentations effortlessly and stylishly, but I have not yet explored this myself…

Well, if you’ve read this far, well done! I hope that this helps those of you who communicate and/or teach regularly and that it will help you present with greater confidence and clarity! Good luck!

All the Single Ladies Put Your Hands Up!

A little while ago a good girl friend of mine got engaged at the age of 38.

She is probably one of the strongest, smartest and most beautiful people I know, who for years has been praying and asking God for a husband. And although she has now found her true love, I know it wasn’t an easy journey. There were times where she felt desperately lonely, times when she was tempted to give up and to compromise, times when she almost settled for someone or something less than the best for her.

Unfortunately I also know and have spoken to too many other single girls who have settled. Girls who honestly believe they are “past their sell-by-date” and have compromised their morals, values and identities simply to avoid the pain of being alone.

Donald Miller, in his post How to Live a Great Love Story, says that “living a great love story doesn’t look like winning the lottery, it looks like training for a marathon. It’s hard work and you have to do the work long before you ever meet Mr. Right, otherwise you’ll be the girl who shows up for the marathon having eaten a gallon of ice cream every night, listening to Taylor Swift songs and watching love stories about vampires. No good man can run with that girl, not for much longer than a mile.“

Here are 5 tips taken straight out of Donald’s blog on how to live a great love story. I found them to be challenging and controversial, but also very true! As I read them I realised how much I have messed this up and have had to pay the price. Hopefully those reading this won’t make the same mistakes I did.

1. Don’t hook up

Girls shouldn’t make it too easy on the guy. Don’t hook up, in other words. A recent article in Scientific American revealed when a girl hooks up with a guy, she esteems him very highly. She may think of him as powerful or famous, somebody who is strong. But the opposite is actually true from the guys perspective. Guys hook up with girls they find less attractive and sexually easy. All they want is sex, and so if they perceive she will give them sex and then get out of their lives, they are going to jump at the chance. The girl may feel very wanted and beautiful but the truth is he’s insulting her. If he thought of her with respect, he’d sit and ask questions about her life and her family. He’d try to get to know her because he wants to develop a friendship and perhaps a romantic relationship. In other words, guys don’t hook up with girls they would marry. They marry the girls they get nervous around and are made to pursue. So, if you become a “hook up” girl you get labeled, in the minds of guys as a girl you really don’t have to fight for.

2. Make him work for it:

When a guy is made to fight for a girl, he esteems her much more highly. She becomes more attractive in his eyes, and for that matter she becomes more attractive to other men, too. That said, most of the time this will backfire because lots of guys are just looking for cheap and slutty sex and for her to get lost afterward. Still, it’s your chance to weed them out. And believe me, girls, there are a lot of weeds.

3. Be willing to suffer:

What this means for you is that your love story needs to have a lot of lonely crying in it. Believe it or not, there will come a day when a man will fall madly in love with you and you will have the honor of sitting down with him one special night to explain that, while you weren’t perfect, you turned down plenty of guys and cried yourself to sleep hoping somebody would come around and treat you with respect. He will be honoured by this, and he will love you and feel humbled.

 4. Have some faith:

I’ve noticed that most women who complain a good man won’t come along are actually interested in the wrong guys. They make lists of their perfect gentleman coming to rescue them meanwhile they’re hooking up with guys who have a track record of just having sex with random women. Really? Your husband won’t really care what you say, he will care what you do. We tell our love stories with our actions, not our words. Life isn’t a Taylor Swift song, with all the hardship left out. Stop falling for the romantic version of life, and start realizing that a romantic story is told with an enormous amount of pain, sacrifice, suffering and patience.

5. Work through your need to be validated by men:

You’re going to marry a man, not men. So cut the slutty dresses and Facebook photos. Start acting like a woman a man can partner with to build a family, not a woman who would make a great romp on a drunk and emotionally foggy Friday night. And stop using alcohol as an excuse. Nobody gets drunk and accidentally sleeps with a hamster. You know what you’re doing, drunk or not, so cut it out. In other words, become the woman who fits the character in the love story you want to live.

So, if you want a great love story, start training for it today. Start suffering, like somebody training for a marathon. Do the pain, suffer through the nights where you cry in your pillow, have some faith and stop cheapening your love story with scenes you’ll never be able to edit out.

3 Lessons from a Rookie Dad

On Thursday the 21st of July 2011 my world was forever changed…

At 9:45am my brave wife gave birth to our beautiful son, Will Owen Basson, at a whopping 4,2kgs!

Now I know I am still a rookie when it comes to being a parent with many lessons still to learn, but in the meantime here are some that I am learning right now…

1. Being a parent is a Privilege.

Children truly are God’s gift to us. We don’t earn them or deserve them, but God entrusts them to us to look after for a while. I love the words of Kahlil Gibran:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

2. Being a parent is Hard Work

Now you may say, “What hard work have you had to put up with Tom? You’ve only had him for a week! Call me when he’s a teenager!”

And you’d probably be right. But even through the pregnancy, the labour, and our first week at home with Will, I can already tell that parenting is not easy. Late nights, no sleep, feeling completely out of your depth, wondering if you can do this… Putting your own selfish desires and problems aside in order to do what’s best for your child and your family.

I guess parenting, like most things in life worth doing actually, takes determination and sacrifice.

3. Being a parent is Pure Joy

Having said that, there is simply nothing greater or more heart-warming than looking into your little boy’s eyes and having him recognize your face and stop crying. There is nothing more sublime than having him fall asleep on your chest and feeling the warmth of his breath on your face. And there is nothing more delicious than feeling his soft skin as his fingers wrap around your thumb.

It’s a feeling no parent can ever fully explain or understand. The unconditional love of a father for a son.

It makes me think of God.