You Are Here

If you want to find out where you are, you need some sort of reference point. A lighthouse on a hill, a beacon by which you are able to navigate. Lets call this beacon “the future”. It represents where you are heading, the person you want to become, and the achievements you hope to attain.

But, one reference point is not enough. Navigators will tell you that in order to know what direction you are traveling, you need a second reference point. Lets call this point “the past”. It’s where you’ve come from, and it helps to give you your bearings.

You see, before we can see where we’re going we need to know where we came from.

And so, want to know where you are?

You are here.

Smack bang between your future and your past, and it’s called “the present”.

Sometimes we forget that that’s where we exist, and we find ourselves living in two extremes. On the one hand we live only for the future, discarding the lessons and wisdom learnt from the past. We spend so much time dreaming about what could be, that we miss out on what actually is.

On the other hand we dwell too long on the past and fall into the trap of “traditionalism” – doing things a certain way simply because that’s how we’ve always done them. Because we’re looking behind us all the time, we miss out on what is in front of us.

I have always found this tension hard to manage. Because of how I’m wired I am always looking to the “next thing”, and so often I find myself missing out on the present. Perhaps for you, you find yourself talking about “the good ol’ days” a bit too much.

The challenge however, for all of us, is to acknowledge the past, have dreams for the future, but most of all, engage in the present! As Albert Camus wrote:

“Real generosity toward the future consists of giving all to what is present.”

When Churches Hurt Part 2

My last guest post by Maurilio Amorim  spoke about the Church at its worst. And I received this comment from a reader:

Hey Tom. I don’t get your last blog and thought you may be able to explain it to me. It seems like you are inviting people to share their bad experiences with the church, and for them to share where they have seen church at its worst. I feel a little stupid asking this, but is the reason for inviting stories like this to bring healing to people?

I think this is a great question, and this was my response…

Well, without trying to sound defensive, I think ultimately this guest post is in fact about bringing healing to the readers.

Personally, I am always aware of how Grace Family Church attracts people who have been previously “hurt” by churches and are often so overwhelmed and encouraged by the love and acceptance they feel when they walk through Grace’s doors.

I think as the “big C” Church we need to acknowledge the wounds and the mistakes we have made in the past, and also acknowledge our own tendencies as humans to get hung up on trivial issues and miss the point. To pretend like the church hasn’t hurt people is ultimately unhealthy and just untrue. That’s what happened in apartheid. I believe part of people’s healing is acknowledging the “hits” they have taken, and then helping them to move forward and beyond.

I believe the last paragraph he writes sums it up well when he says:

“The one thing I can do is to keep my own heart in check and to save that righteous indignation for the things that really matter”

For me this is the redemptive side to the story – that yes, church is messy and filled with messy people, but I can decide today to stop pointing fingers, acknowledge my own propensity for sin and deception, and keep my own heart in check.

I truly believe that the local church, when it is working right, is the hope of the world. And I believe that if the Church is willing to stand up and admit it’s own weaknesses, it will bring great glory to God.

But perhaps I have missed something by reposting Maurillio’s blog. My heart was certainly not to create a “moaning session” for people, or to deface God’s chosen vessel to bring redemption to this world. Hope that makes sense.

When Churches Hurt

This is a guest blog post by one of my favourite bloggers, Maurilio Amorim. Maurilio is the CEO of The A Group, a media, technology and branding firm in the states. You can check out his blog at www.maurilioamorim.com.

“I’m in a different stage of my life right now,” said the young man across the counter as I asked him if he went to church. “I don’t like what organized religion has become,” he continued. I hear a variation of that reasoning quite often. But as I probed and asked about his church background, I was not expecting his answer.

As he told me his story, he mentioned growing up in a church I know well in another city. Years ago, it was one of the most dynamic evangelical churches in that metropolitan area. It grew to mega church status and one day the fighting began. First it was over church governance, and then over musical styles, and then over whatever else people could find polarizing.  it grew ugly until the inevitable split. It was a mess. No one won. No one. Some have claimed victory, however. But the greatest loss to me was the disillusionment of young men and women who watched their parents, grandparents, mentors, heroes of the faith engage in a selfish, unforgiving, ugly battle over mere preferences.

I know the story well. There was no just cause there. No one was fighting heresy or a scandalous financial or moral cover up. They fought hard over preferences, the trivial. It broke my heart to heart to hear that this 26 year old who grew up in what once was a great church now is questioning his entire belief foundation. I don’t blame him. I have been around enough church fights that I can see how someone would be willing to walk away and never come back. I even considered doing it myself.

I’m sure there are many victims of ugly church splits wondering outside any faith community because those who should have known better, the supposedly spiritually mature, failed them miserably. I don’t have a solution for this problem. The human condition is never going to get better. Righteous indignation will rise up when someone decides to mess with the color of the church carpet, and people will need to be mobilized to stop the travesty from happening.

The one thing I can do is to keep my own heart in check and to save that righteous indignation for the things that really matter such as those facing a Christ-less eternity, human trafficking, hunger, child abuse. I pray for a proper perspective on what’s important and what’s trivial, and if I ever confuse them, may God take me home before I cause people like my young friend to wonder from their faith.

Have you seen the Church at its worst? How has that impacted your life?

Still Haven’t Found What You’re Looking For?

It’s something we’re all looking for, but not a lot of us seem to be finding…

HAPPINESS.

And I’m not talking about fleeting moments of pleasure, I’m talking about true happiness – a deep sense of contentment and joy.

Now the Bible has a lot to say about happiness and joy. It says . “Always be full of joy in the Lord! I say it again – rejoice!” (Phil 4:4). Jesus, the night before he was arrested and crucified, prayed for us – and the first thing he prays for, before anything else, is that we may be filled with joy! (John 17:13). In fact, if you do a word search in the New Testament you will see that Jesus uses the word “joy” more times than He uses the word “sin”. It’s like he’s saying, “Hey guys – I didn’t just come to save you from sin – there is so much more than that – I came to give you life, and life to the full!!

And so how do we take hold of that “full life?” Well, there are 3 things I think we need to understand about the nature of happiness…

1) Happiness is a choice

True happiness is a decision we make, not a feeling we chase. As John Keyhoe writes, “Happiness is a practice not a pursuit.” It rises above our everyday circumstances. It’s an intentional decision we must make everyday – to give ourselves permission to laugh and have fun.

Jesus was such a good example of this -  he was so full of joy that he was often accused as being a drunkard! Now some of you reading this are thinking, “I could never be accused of that!” and you think that that is a good thing!

2) Happiness is a byproduct

“Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities.” - Aldous Huxley. The crazy thing about happiness is that if we make it the goal, we’ll never quite catch it. In fact, the harder we seek it, the more illusive it becomes. But, if we are willing to let go of it, it generally finds its way to us.

It’s the paradox of faith that Jesus refers to, “If you grasp and cling to life on your terms, you’ll lose it, but if you let that life go, you’ll get life on God’s terms!” (Luke 17:33). And so instead of seeking joy only for yourself, look around and find ways to bring joy to others…

3) Happiness is not of this world

So often we look for happiness in the wrong places. We look externally. Work, sex, relationships, stuff, holidays, travel etc etc. And while all these things are good and bring pleasure in the short term, ultimately they can never fully satisfy. And so we live from weekend to weekend, or relationship to relationship.

I believe true happiness comes from God. The one who created us and knows the desires of our hearts. As CS Lewis writes, “God cannot give us happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.”

And so, still haven’t found what you’re looking for? Stop searching, turn to God, and it might just find you!

Turn Your Excuse Into A Reason

Recently I’ve been making a lot of excuses to myself.

Reasons not to exercise, or eat healthy, or spend time in prayer.

And it’s mainly because things have been so crazy lately. As I mentioned in a previous blog, we’re in the midst of renovations at home (never again!), preparing for a baby, along with a busy season at work – not to mention all the other little things that cry out for our attention in this life.

And so I’ve taken the role of the victim.

I say things to myself like, “When work calms down, then I’ll get round to exercising again” or “When the renovations are over, then I’ll have time to do the things I want to do.”

But it is a lie I tell myself. An excuse.

I have always held to the belief that there are certain things in life that empty your “bucket” and there are other things that fill it up. The things that fill me up are:

exercise,

spending quality time with family and friends,

and spending time in communion with God.

And yet when my world gets busy, those things that I know fill me up are often the first things to go! And so I wake up feeling drained and “empty” and wonder why. It’s simple physics really – if you are leaking life and not replacing it, eventually there will be nothing left.

And so, I’ve decided to turn my excuses into reasons. When life gets busy, instead of using it as an excuse “not to”, I’m going to use it as a reason “to”.

Instead of saying things like, “I’m too busy to go to small group this week”, I’m going to say, “Because I’m so busy I must make sure I make small group this week.” Instead of saying, “I’m so tired. There’s too much going on.” I’m going to say, “There’s so much going on. I better make sure I do the things I know will give me more energy!” and be intentional about planning them into my day-to-day.

And so what excuses are you going to turn into reasons this week?