[Insert Catchy Blog Title Here]

cheesy photo from stock photo website of happy smiling couple doing happy things

[First, insert funny/controversial/shocking statement to grab readers attention]

[Now tell a funny anecdote or personal story to endear readers to you the writer]

[Next ask a relevant question related to above mentioned story/anecdote]

[Segway from question into main content ie. what you really want to talk about]

[Give two or three relevant and practical applications for readers]

[End blog post with a hard-hitting/thought-provoking question]

There you have it – the formula for a successful blog post! Designed to ensure increased traffic to your blog, and satisfied readers at the end of the day, right?

Yes and no.

Formulas are great. We use them to sell products, attract clients, improve our health, maintain our relationships, and even help people grow spiritually. We devise 7 habits for highly effective people (one of my best books by the way), 21 irrefutable laws of leadership, 5 languages of love and 101 ways to win friends and influence people.

And a lot of the time they are bang on the money. I guess that’s why they become formulas. Because they work.

But not always.

Sometimes life is just too complex and their are too many shades of grey to apply a formula and expect results. Sometimes life throws us random curve balls that we could never have anticipated or prepared for, and that blindside us on some idle Tuesday morning. Sometimes I guess we just have to figure things out on our own as we go.

And while that doesn’t always make for an easy life, it certainly makes for an interesting one!

And so, may you live your life beyond cliche formulas and prescriptions. May you embrace your existence with all it’s uncertainty and mystery, and may your life not be easy, but interesting!

How To Say No

In my last blog we looked at the “curse of busyness”. And I asked the question, how can we learn to “redeem the time” when we feel pulled in a dozen different directions?

As Jill Savage writes, “Most of us long for balance in our life and margin in our days. We don’t like the feeling of being over committed, but we find ourselves there more often than we like.”

You see, the truth is that dozens of great oppourtunities come our way every day, but there is simply no way we can do them all – at least not well.

And so we must learn to say that small two-letter word “NO”.

The Bible says, “Let your ‘yes’ be yes and your ‘no’ be no”. (Matt 5:37)

Easier said than done.

How do we actually do that? Well, I think there are two key ideas here that can help us to establish healthy personal boundaries in our lives:

1) Discernment

Much of establishing boundaries is about knowing what to own and not to own. What we can take responsibility for, and what is beyond our control.

Too often we say “yes” and “no” to the wrong things.

We say “yes” to workload or social commitments that over-burden us, and we say “no” to taking ownership of our own emotions or happiness. We take on too much, and then we blame external circumstances or others because we are unhappy.

2) Vision

If we want to learn what to say “no” to, we have to first know what to say “yes” to. Knowing where we are going and why we are going there is critical. It allows us to sift through the things that are unimportant or ultimately not helping us to get to our destination. Having a clear vision for your life helps to clarify direction and makes it easier to say “no”.

The reality is that saying “No” to something actually lets us say “Yes” to something else – to the things that are really important to us…

like playing with our kids

spending time with our spouse

connecting with God

or making time for friends.

And that is what life is really about, isn’t it?

I’m Just Too Busy

Too often I find myself thinking, “I’m just too busy…”

to keep up with friends.

to get all my work done.

to read my bible.

to rest.

to engage people like I want to.

The reality is we live in a culture that is moving faster and faster. And things don’t seem to be slowing down any time soon!

In his book “Faster: The Acceleration of Just About Everything” sociologist James Gleick talks about this “ever growing urgency” in our culture. He argues that the technology-driven Western world has produced a “multi-tasking, channel-flipping, fast-forwarding species.”

Interestingly, in his research, he discovered that the more affluent you are, the more likely you are to be anxious about time. He writes, “…increasing wealth and increasing education bring a sense of tension about time. We believe that we possess too little of it; and that is a myth we all live by now.”

And so my question is, “Is there a breaking point?”

How much can one person do in one day?

The Bible says that time is precious – a rare commodity. It says, “Don’t be a fool. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get!” (Eph 5:16) In the original King James translation it uses this beautiful phrase – learn to “redeem the time.”

And so how do we do that? How do we regain or recover that which is taken from us every day by a million other demands and pressures? I have some ideas which I’ll write about in my next blog, but what are your thoughts?

Renovating Your Life

We are currently renovating our house.

And while I am excited for the end result, at this moment it is like living in a bomb shelter. We have no washing machine, no stove, no sink (we’re doing all our washing in the baby bath), and the entire house is covered in a fine layer of cement dust!

But, I keep telling my wife (and trying to convince myself) that it is all worth it. Once this is over, we will have a lovely new kitchen and beautiful new floors. A place we can be proud of.

Sometimes I think God is a builder. And He loves doing renovations on my character.

Often times it is just a few minor alterations – a bit of plastering here or some electrical rewiring somewhere else. Promptings from God on wrong ways of thinking, or small adjustments in the way I treat others around me. But then there are other times in my life when it seems like He has decided to knock out an entire wall! In my case issues of  control that He wants to get rid of, or my incredible propensity for selfishness.

And what I’ve found is that generally this kind of character renovation is a painful and messy experience. In fact, sometimes it feels like things have to get more messy before they get better (my kitchen at the moment for example). But in the end I’ve always found that the final result is worth the pain and I am better off for it!

The Bible calls this “refining”.

It says,  ”When life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.” (1 Peter 4:12)

Thankfully, God is always on the job.

And He promises us that He will complete the work He has started: “I will always show you where to go. I’ll give you a full life in the emptiest of places… You’ll use the old rubble of past lives to build anew, rebuild the foundations from out of your past. You’ll be known as those who can fix anything, restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate…” (Isaiah 58:11-12)

And so, what part of your character feels like it is currently “under construction”?

Do Power Balance Bracelets Really Work?

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, let me enlighten you. Power Balance bracelets are plastic bracelets embedded with a hologram that supposedly “works with your body’s natural energy field to increase strength, flexibility and overall performance.”

And they are everywhere!  In fact, it seems nowadays that every second person you meet is wearing one.

A while ago as a joke I tweeted -

“To all you Power Balance bracelet wearers – I have a ring that repels dragons, and I am willing to send it to you for free!”

- and it caused quite a stir! It seems to me that there are people on both sides. Those who swear by them, and those who say they are a complete scam!

As a physiotherapist trained in clinical reasoning, my initial reaction was “C’mon – you’ve got to be kidding me! Where are the random-double-blind studies? The hard facts proving it works?” And the truth is – there are none. In fact in Australia recently Power Balance posted a retraction and had to apologize to consumers for misleading advertising.

But, despite all this, I am also an owner of the infamous Power Balance bracelet (someone gave it to me I promise!) and, I have to be honest, I’ve worn it a few times surfing and paddling. You see, even though my brain is telling me this thing is just a brilliant and well-marketed money-making scheme – a modern version of “snake-oil” – there is also a small part of me that wants to believe it works.

Because the truth is we all want a magic formula.

Whether it’s to sort out our marriage, increase our business, build our ministry, or get a six-pack, we are all susceptible to taking the quick and easy option. Unfortunately, as I’m figuring out, for the most part there are no magic formulas or quick fixes in life. Relationships, love and financial freedom, like “power, balance, and flexibility” take work. A lot of hard work.

The bible says it like this: “Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity, but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty.” (Prov 21:5)

So… what do you think about Power Balance? Real-deal, placebo or hoax?

And more importantly, what challenge or problem in your life are you avoiding or looking for the magic formula to fix?

PS: I still have those dragon rings if any of you are interested. I’ll give you a special price